After the Hangover
by atemu1234
Summary: Holly's got pregnant. Uh-oh, were will this lead to?
1. Chapter 1

Haven City

Holly groaned as she saw her fifteenth pregnancy test turn red. She knew what this meant. She'd felt sick that morning, and had for the past week. She'd called in sick to Police Plaza, and, hoping this wasn't what she thought it was, she grabbed the pee-stick. It'd turned red, but she tried again. And again. And again. But it was always red. She then grabbed her communicator, and phoned Artemis. On the third ring, the mud-boy, no, mud-man, she reminded herself. Artemis was no child anymore. Anyway, Artemis picked up. As soon as he said, "Fowl Residence," she braced herself and said the words. "I'm pregnant, Artemis."

Fowl Manor

Artemis was shocked. He waited a couple seconds, hoping to hear the good old, "Joking," but it didn't come. His mouth ajar, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he fainted.

He woke up again in an hour, in his room, with Butler leaning over him. "You okay, Artemis?"

He said this in a voice that was concerned. "No need to explain. Holly told me everything. When…?"

Artemis pulled himself together. He then said, "Please. I'll tell you later. Is Holly still on the line?"

"Never left. But I want answers. Now."

"Please, old friend. I believe she is more important at the second."

"Very well," Domovoi growled. Artemis picked up the phone, and said, "Hello, Holly."

Haven City

Despite the seriousness in the present situation, Holly burst out laughing when Butler told her that Artemis had fainted. Then, an hour later, she heard Artemis say, "Hello, Holly."

"Artemis. What are we going to do? I mean, he…"

"Hold on a moment. How do you know it's a he?"

"Artemis. This was a fairy pregnancy test. It told me right everything down to its blood type."

"Okay. Have you thought about… The option?"

"No. Abortion is not the answer."

"You sound like a catholic church. But point taken. No abortion. But maybe adoption?"

"No. We can't orphan off this child. Remember, it'd be a half and half, so it would be in danger from quacks looking to make a buck."

"Duly noted. Maybe…"

"Maybe what, Artemis?"

"Well… We can always raise it ourselves."

"Artemis. We tried to raise Jayjay, but remember what happened?"

Artemis grimaced. "Okay. But I was serious. What choice do we have?"

"D'arvit. I hate it when you're right."

"I have my moments. Many, many moments."

"Shut up. Mud boy, how will we explain this to your parents? I mean, how did this happen?"

"Well, I remember my parents going to bed early…"

"You getting out the champagne…"

"We got drunk…"

"Off our asses…"

"Domovoi fell asleep…"

"And we went upstairs…"

"And then a big blank white period."

"Yes. A very big, blank white period."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

"**WHAT?**"

Both Artemis Fowls were in the living room, with Angeline and Holly. Artemis Fowl SR. had just heard the announcement. He looked at Holly. He looked at Artemis, and then collapsed into his chair, rubbing his forehead. "I guess there's no turning back now," he said. "You," he pointed at Artemis, "Go upstairs with… What's her name again?"

Angeline said, "Holly, dear."

"Holly. Go to the attic and see if you can root out some of Artemis's old baby clothes. And give him a good box about the ears well you're at it."

Ten minutes later, they were in the attic, going through boxes marked BABY CLOTHES in sharpie. "So," Artemis said awkwardly, "How long do fairy pregnancies last?"

"Normally about five months."

"Five? But it's been three already!"

"Yep. What do you reckon we should name him?"

"'Reckon'? What is this, Harry Potter?"

"Good name. Harry Fowl. No, wait, he'd get made fun of."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"How about Artemis the Third?"

"Not bad. We should go with that."

"Okay. Hey, look at what I found."

She held up a pair of leather baby booties, that looked like miniatures of the leather shoes that Artemis was wearing now. He blushed and said, "Give me those."

"No," she said, in a mischievously defiant voice. "I think I'll keep these."

"Give them here."

"No."

He lept up, meaning to take the shoes back, but she ran around a box. He ran after her, and found himself, in a second, almost on top of her. "Got it!" he called, as he got the shoes. Then he looked down at Holly. "Well, what now?"

She got up, and kissed him. He felt the blush fade from his face, and then she pulled away. "What do you think, genius?"

He slipped a hand into his back pocket and grabbed a rubber condom.

Thirty minutes later, they were both lying on their backs in the attic, panting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**In Two months, Holly's friends arrived. Although Trouble looked less than happy, muttering under his breath about stupid mud people and how that they should've stuffed a blue rinse down Artemis' throat well they had the chance. Foaly also was less than happy, but cordial. Mulch was as content as ever, but seemed less interested in the pregnancy than eating every morsel of food in the building. Whistling a river bend tune, he said, "And… so, what kind of food do you have?"**

**You may ask why Foaly, Trouble, and Mulch arrived, along with Chix Vergil and Doodah Day. That is to prepare for the baby shower! As the first (And probably the majority.) of the guests that arrived, they had first shot at the food. Foaly ate the bowl of baby carrots, leaving the ranch untouched, well Doodah went for the lobster, as he was, and always will be, a pixie, and thus forever a lover of shellfish. But perhaps you are more interested in Holly and Artemis' relationships with each other. Well, Artemis Sr. had finally adjusted to the fact that his son had gotten Holly pregnant and even consented them to share a room (And a bed, although that was a given.) Holly still hadn't dilated, but when Artemis asked, she said, "Elves don't dilate. The babies are born very small."**

"**But this one is part human," Artemis pointed out.**

"**Don't worry. Foaly checked. Apparently most human genes were recessive, except for hair and eyes, you'd be delighted to know."**

**In five hours, after several separate appearances by a full cast of characters, including Number One, and Queffor. Number One gave Holly a gift that was very amazing to all, with the help of Queffor and two new Demon Warlocks, Quirky and Quandary, a very rare set of twins, which only recent genetic testings had revealed. They gave the baby **_**magic. "You see," Number One said, "I heard from Foaly that the baby was unable to use magic, like a human. So I decided that if we were going to give it a present, why not magic?"**_

_**Trouble began to protest, saying, "It goes against every rule in The Book! I forbid it!"**_

_**Number One waved his finger at Trouble, and said, "First of all, I checked the book. As this baby is not a mudman entirely, he isn't a mudman at all, by the book's standards. So…"**_

_**He put his hands on Holly's stomach, and the magic coursed into her baby's body, granting it magic. Artemis said, "I didn't know you could do that!"**_

_**Number one shrugged. "You never asked."**_

_**In thirty minutes, every guest was leaving, and Butler had to waylay Mulch, due to the fact that the dwarf was leaving with the crystal bowl containing no less than fifty mini sandwiches. (There had been over one thousand at the beginning of the party, and there were only ten guests, and only five Fowls!)**_

_**Meanwhile, upstairs, Artemis and Holly were kissing with gusto, and finally, after a full minute, they collapsed onto a bed. Downstairs, Angeline Fowl said, "Does it sound to you like someone's moving furniture upstairs, like a sofa, or a bed…"**_

_**She shut up.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

In a month, Holly was taken to Haven by three LEP Paramedics. Within three weeks, she lay in bed, Artemis holding her hand while Holly watched a human soap opera. Richard was saying to Rebecca, "But I love you," when she felt something. She pressed the nurse button. A voice not unlike Lily Frond's said, "Yes?"

"For starters, what's your name?" Holly asked.

"Vivian Frond."

"Oh. Well. My water burst a second ago."

In and hour, a doctor was yelling, "Push!"

A baby's head appeared.

"Push!"

A torso.

"PUSH!"

And the baby's cry joined Holly's own, and Then Holly gave a smile. Finally.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

One month after Holly had given birth to her and Artemis' child, christened _Auras_, or in English, Gold. Auras was showing signs of increased mental facilities even as Holly spoke, utilizing its gift of tongues in just a month after birth. It was mostly unconnected words in different languages, although sometimes the skinny infant would paw at Holly's hair and say, "_Madre_," or "Mommy," in various languages. But other than that it just spat gibberish. Holly and Artemis both watched the child in the back of the limousine, well Valis, the LEP Retrieval officer-cum-Chauffer, kept his eye on the road.

Artemis then looked at Holly and felt himself… stirring. She was resplendent in a perfect condition remake of one of Angeline Fowl's silk dresses, while he wore a black tuxedo, and a tie, which altogether ruined the suit, which was red and overlarge, making him look like a Clown-cum-male model. When they made it to their destination, which was _not Fowl manor, but a restaurant. When they were there, Holly ordered nothing but a coke and some fries, which for some reason, she had taken a liking to. The restaurant would have said that they don't have coke, or fries, but Artemis slipped the man in charge fifty dollars. Fifteen minutes later, the waiter came in, with a Mcdonalds bag on a silver platter, a vision so ironic that Artemis almost despaired. After they had eaten, Artemis ordered a bottle of Bordeaux. After they were both on the verge of becoming tipsy, Artemis reached into his jacket, and pulled out a small envelope. He slid it across the table, and Holly picked it up, and opened it. It was a wring, engraved with Gnomish so that it read, Will you marry me, Holly?_

_Holly looked in serious shock. The symphony behind them began playing Siren Song, from Artemis' unfinished symphony. Holly said a shocked, "Yes. Yes."_

_She hurled herself across the table and began kissing Artemis with gusto. This was no bare lipped kiss. It was a tonguer, beautiful, and the kind that would have become sex, if they hadn't been in a restaurant in Canada. When she stopped, Artemis was flat on the floor. They both got up, and Artemis looked around, and said, "Check Please!"_

_Author's note:_

_I made this fic for fun. I don't own Artemis Fowl or any related series. (Hell, I'm a kid. I barely own my own shoes.)_


End file.
